So I decided to drop out of college because I thought it would be best to get my Mental Health sorted so I could think straight and be able to do things without thinking about other stuff. Like normally when I wake up I’ll have a few arguments with my mom (I use mom a lot because I’ve watched a lot of American stuff and I think mom sounds way cooler than mum) and then eat a dozen times and take a few naps during the day and then come by the end of the day I realize my college assignment needs to be done and then I literally just cannot for the life of me find any patience to do it. So I thought it would be best to just drop out and wait until I can get a new passport then apply for some care jobs and get myself back into work and into a routine that works better for me.
I thought it would be a brilliant idea to move half a cornered sofa to my room.. Let’s just say 5ft 4 me busted the wall which now has a few scratches and a hole here and there.. I got one part of the sofa up whilst my lovely mom went to her friends to have a coffee aka brew as she calls it. Safe to say caused an argument because apparently she told me no and that it would look stupid.. (Actually doesn’t look stupid) and she lied about saying no because she just said we’ll see… She says that all the time and then I get angry and say like ITS A YES OR NO FUCKING QUESTION… I loose my temper way too much because it’s like talking to A 5 YEAR OLD.. Sorry I’m still a tad angry… So this part of the sofa is now in my room and it is brilliant because I can sit on it and be able to read without gaining back pain even though I have back pain all the time because I cant sit straight as I have learnt to sit in some stupid posture which makes my back even worse if I try to sit straight.
I started watching Bizarre Animal Friends before the argument began and I saw that a woman has a guide horse called Callie which is like a guide dog for the blind except this is a guide horse well pony.. It’s a miniature horse..Then there’s a boy who has a pet duck called Nibbles which I thought was really adorable and a cat who works in a shelter for abandoned animals helps to keep the animals calm and also be their friend.
I’m a little more calmed down now, I think I should tidy up my bed otherwise I won’t be able to sleep on the damn thing because it’s got all of my stuff on it due to me putting everything from the floor on it.. I’m not the most cleanest person in the world.. A good book would really help me unwind right now so I may read Twilight or my Star Trek Voyager book.. I really hate when I get angry so damn quick and start swearing which is something I do a lot when in arguments or just stressed with back pain. I’m glad I could get this off my chest.
Sorry for being so childish and angry.
xo Tris xo