Depression Talk

Hey Everyone.

I wanted to talk about my Depression, so normally when I try to sleep I end up thinking about stuff that I shouldn’t. You know when your brain decides to go.. Oh you remember this? You remember when you did this?

Well that happened to me last night, I think I was half asleep but it made me tear up a little. Basically I was having an argument with someone who was saying I wasn’t Depressed and that I was lying..Remember I was half asleep when this was going off and my brain was just over thinking so anyway in my head I was like how do you know I’m Depressed?

I feel like I’m dead on the inside and I can’t fix it but you’re telling me I’m not Depressed and that you think you know me? Do you know how it feels to feel so alone even though there is so many people around me? Do you know how paranoid I get when I go out and think that everyone is laughing at me or that everyone hates me or how I think I annoy my friends by talking too much. But no you think you know me?

This was all going off in my head whilst I was trying to sleep and I’ll be honest I do feel this way, I do feel like I annoy my friends and that everyone is laughing at me and that everyone hates me and I can’t help it. I have to have headphones in every time I go out so I can isolate myself and it sucks because if I don’t have music my anxiety is really bad and it’s been getting worse because I’m gasping more where there is no need to.

And when I talk to my friends I always feel like should I of said that? Maybe they don’t like you? You’re talking too much and that’s why they don’t reply. It’s something I can’t control but it’s something I try and ignore even though I can’t.

Have you ever had this happen to you? Do you ever feel like this? I’d love to hear from you.

xo Tris xo

4 thoughts on “Depression Talk

  1. Oh, the amount of times I’ve felt like that in nearly the exact same situation you’re describing is almost too high to count. Yeah, lying in bed or taking a shower are my prime times for “beat yourself up over some imagined slight or remember that time months ago when this miniscule thing happened that, in the grand scheme of things, wasn’t really that important? Yeah, find a way to make it relevant again so that you can feel bad again. It sounds like you already know this, but don’t ever let anybody tell you what is or isn’t true about you. Someone trying to deny a fact so essential to your everyday life (that you have depression) only makes them seem less sympathetic. I know that it’s never as easy as “cheer up!”, but hang in there, Tris. In the end, YOU know who you are, and that’s the important thing. You aren’t in denial of the fact that it isn’t as easy for you as some folks out there, and honestly, in my experience, that helps make you stronger.

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  2. I literally hate it, It happens all the time and I have no idea how to move past it so I literally try my best to ignore it and sometimes that doesn’t work. I’ve had people tell me that I’m not Depressed because I laugh or smile but literally even when I do laugh or smile it’s all fake and I’ve done that since I was 17. I’ve had to pretend that I’m all well and I’m in a good place when I’m not, Thank you for your comment it really does mean a lot, It makes me realize I’m not the only one going through this and I wish there was something more done about it.

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  3. I have had this happen to me a lot. I’m sorry that you have to deal with it! All I can say is to try your best to not let it get to you, which can be really hard. And don’t ever let anybody put you down about something that you can’t help! I’m here if you want to talk ❤

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    1. I was supposed to get back to you but I had forgot, I’ve tried to get myself more active so I’m not thinking like that all the time. I can say it’s not worked liked I’d hope but I am reading a lot more which has helped as well as being on new medication 💖

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