Rebel Hearts At Christmas

Hey everyone,

Who’s excited for Christmas and who’s not? Well that would be me. Of course it would.

I don’t like Christmas, every year I’d rather sleep through the whole ordeal.. Why? Because unlike me everyone is surrounded by their families and then there’s me.. I only have my mom and she hates Christmas and likes to make it known.

Normally on a Christmas morning for us,  I have to wait for my mom to wake up which is around 10/11 am and then I’ll open my presents and then go back to bed and maybe read or play on my Xbox One until dinner is ready and then maybe we’ll watch some films and argue too because my mom doesn’t like watching films with me she’d rather watch them on her own.. So yeah I don’t like Christmas, my mom always makes me feel uncomfortable so then I just go back to my bedroom.

Christmas is just another stressful day to not look forward too, I try and put on a happy smile and act excited when in reality it’s just another day that I want to sleep through.

I’ve not been in the best of moods lately either because I have no money so I can’t get my mom a present so she’s been on my back about it but my last present that I got her she said it wasn’t Christmasy enough.. It was Winnie The Pooh dressed as a badger and I used a voucher that I had won for myself and used it on her but hey it wasn’t enough. I always feel like everything I do is never enough, I’d rather of gave that Winnie The Pooh to someone who’d appreciate it like there’s kids out there who probably have never experienced Christmas and then we get my mom who’s ungrateful.

ON A GOOD NOTE.. I finally have my first pre-group meeting on Thursday 22nd December, as much as I am finally glad to see this letter I’m also nervous because I have never done therapy before but let’s hope it’ll be a better me in 2017 and then my posts won’t be so depressing.. I’ll be blogging about my therapy as I go along as I think it might help somehow.

Also..

I love my IPhone 6s Plus, I literally feel like I can finally FaceTime with friends who live on the other side of the world.. Like my friend Samantha who lives In Canada and she and I met on a LGBTQ+ Forum and we just clicked and have been friends ever since and we was planning on me moving to live with her but I’m from the UK and have no family in Canada so technically it would be really hard to move there unless I decide to get a job there or something.. I’d rather live in a different country where no one knows me and I can finally be..Me.

I just wanted to say a HUGE thank you to those who have followed me and spoken to me during these rough times that I have been going through and I want to say that it means a lot to me that I can come and blog on here and know that I have support.

Happy Holidays! ❤

xo Tris xo

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