How is everyone?
Well I had my first pre-meeting for the BPD therapy and it was difficult.. I never expected it to be hard the first time. It really felt like opening a can of worms and afterwards I couldn’t catch my breath when it was time to go home, I couldn’t stop crying so I refused to get on the bus.. I walked for awhile to try and calm down, but that didn’t work.. Instead I spoke to 2 of my friends and that calmed me down and thankfully to them I was able to get a grip of myself and stop crying. I start therapy fully on 6th Jan a day before I turn 23 years old.. I’m hoping to stay with my friend and binge watch films and eat junk food..
Yesterday I tided my room and I mean tided, there’s nothing out of place at all. I don’t even know what made me want to tidy my room. It looks reasonably nice considering it’s blue and white but I’m thinking of redecorating it and adding some purple and wall paper.. I was thinking of purple and black but black is a pain to paint over if I was to get bored of it.
Today I sat and read some of my Star Trek: Voyager Acts Of Contrition.. And something is happening to Seven.. Icheb snook himself in Starfleet Medical because he knew something was wrong and he heard Sevens screams. Basically there’s a plague break out and Starfleet needs Seven Of Nine’s help and so she goes to see Axum who’s a former lover and was also a Borg, he has finally been separated from the Borg but not like Seven.. He tore off his Borg implants and isn’t doing that well considering his having nightmares and he and Seven have rekindled their relationship though Seven is in an intimate relationship with a man called Hugh.. I’m really loving the storyline though.
But right now I’m typing all this to you whilst listening to P!nk Mean, and feeling loads better thanks to my new nighttime medication which is helping me to sleep and keeping me in check. Somehow I feel better like I know what I’m doing, like I’m in control.. I haven’t felt like that for sometime and now I feel like I may have a grip on my life.
If anyone needs someone to talk to, I’m here.
xo Tris xo