Therapy was really good today, it made me feel loads better but then I went to work.
I ended up arriving late and then having to put my uniform on and then being pulled a side for a chat. Apparently I’m not doing so good at work and I lost an hours pay today because I was late.
I ended up breaking down because in my head everything is fine everything is perfect. I think this job is the only thing that’s holding me together and yet I’m fucking up so bad. I just want to go home and cry. I’m giving myself until next week and then I’m going to make a decision and decide whether I want to continue with this job. It seems one moment I’m doing good and then next I’m not.
I just really thought I could be good with his job and really turn my life around and clearly that’s not working. I feel so crap and down I just want to get under my duvet and hide away from the world. Why can’t I stop messing up? 😭
The Girl In The Shadows