I was supposed to write this blog a few days ago but I was too angry to get anything out and I needed some time to calm myself and let it go but it’s just another insult added to a list that I’ll never forget.
Me and my mom were going to the shop, I wanted to get a drink and she needed electric & gas.. Anyways, I mentioned that I was thinking of going to university to study nursing and it was just an idea.. The second I brought it up I got these words “The NHS doesn’t need a slasher working for them and being a nurse is stressful.”
First of I have never slashed my arms, she thought I had been cutting my arms when I mentioned in the hospital to a nurse that I had bruised my arm and that I felt better afterwards and so my mom thought I had cut my arms.. But this does not condone her insult that she said to me. I think the NHS could do with people who have Mental Health problems working for them. Why? Because we can help others who are depressed and suicidal because we know the dark places that some people have been in and we can offer experience of how we dealt with it too. I may have Depression but it shouldn’t stop me from what I want to do.
See my mom has always been this way, she doesn’t care that some things that she says could be harmful. She’s event told me when I was 19 that I wasn’t the daughter should of had because of my Mental Health or how a troublesome child I was. I’ve been told that I was a mistake, that I’m a lunatic and now a slasher.. What next mom?
And the thing is she is my only family, I can’t move out yet because I don’t get that much money from work and I want to find a second job but jobs aren’t easy to come by but if a second job would get me away from my mother then I’ll do it and I’ll go through the gates of hell to do it.. I’m rubbish at saving up and I’m going to try and save up some money so I can get out of this hell.
I have also realized you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family. My friends are my family and some of them live in Canada, America, Australia but I always try to keep in touch or ask them how they are or how their day went.
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The Girl In The Shadows