When Sleep Doesn’t Come

Today has just been up and down like a yoyo.. This morning I could barely get out of bed due to a migraine and moving just made it worse so I fell back to sleep which made the migraine 10x worse.. I put my headphones in and went downstairs even though my body felt like it was burning so I went and got myself a drink..

My bedroom was an absolute mess and I didn’t have the energy to do it so I threw everything onto my bed and moved my draws and then my bed because my mom’s friend had told me it would look nice the way she had described it but I had gotten it all wrong and I didn’t have the energy to move everything around again. My mom’s friend came over and helped me clean up and moved my bed and draws and managed to get a rug down and now my bedroom is finally a place that I can think clearly and my little rabbit Harry isn’t allowed in the bedroom as we found so much rabbit poop under my bed XD but he still runs to the door and scratches the door to try to get in.

This is what my bedroom looks like now, I’m not showing the original picture because it’s damn awful..

my bedroom.jpg

So this is my bedroom ^ if any of you were curious, I have all my books on the left side of my bed so its way more easier for me to just grab a book and read now. On the right side of my bed are my DVDs and my Harry Potter books and other Star Trek books.. And can’t forget my LGBT flag from Pride 😀

So right now it’s 00.57 am, I have struggled to sleep sometimes and won’t fall to sleep until 3-4 am, I have sleeping pills but they don’t always work and I didn’t think to take one tonight.. I have been off my medication (Venlafaxine) for a few weeks now and I feel loads better.. I was a complete mess on them and I know it’s stupid to go cold turkey on medication but it’s what I do.. And I want to try to stay off medication and go out and do things that will make me feel better rather than being dosed up on pills that may or may not help me.

It’s times like this when I start thinking about things I did in the past like when I overdosed when I was 17 because for me I was stuck in a bad place and only saw one way out.. I don’t regret that day and a part of me does regret it.. I’m not the same person anymore and I know I never will be.. If anything it’s messed me up more than half the crap that has happened to me over the years.. This blog let’s me escape those demons even for a few minutes and for that I’m thankful. But I really do wish I could sleep.

Love from

The Girl In The Shadows

2 thoughts on “When Sleep Doesn’t Come

  1. Hi Tris, I have just found your blog; you write very well. I too am a Star Trek person. My boyfriend and I were just at the Star Trek Las Vegas convention in early August. We attend every year and this was our 11th year there. Our Trek friends are like family to us. I see you are a Voyager fan and especially a fan of Garrett Wang. He seems like a wonderful person and always shares his talents and positive energy with the fans at STLV. Very happy that you got to meet him and have a special bond. I will read your older posts now. I work as a counselor (have my doctorate in psychology) and also as an editor. I am hoping that you get to attend counseling regularly, as it can be really helpful. Thank you for sharing your writing and thoughts here. You will help other people through what you share. People will feel less alone. Glad to “meet” you and will keep reading. Take good care of yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Sabrina, I made WordPress as my little escape so I can just post when my mind decides to get a little crazy, most things that I have written on here a tough subjects but then they’re better ones. When I met Garrett last year I honestly never thought it would happen because that was my first ever convention and meeting Garrett and my first convention was the best thing ever. It’s good to meet you too, take care of yourself x


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