Surprise Yourself

Hey everybody, I know I haven’t wrote in a while again. I’ve been focusing on work as well as my Mental Health.. I’ve been off medication for a good few weeks now and honestly I feel good.

So I wanted to write but couldn’t think of a title so went to my music list on Spotify and use the song title “Surprise Yourself” by Jack Garrett because it’s one of my favorite songs and it’s also been used in the film “Me before you” It’s also a great film and you should probably check it out.

I’ve finally heard from the BPD people and I’m seeing them on 6th September for possibly more BPD therapy to which I’m quite happy about.. Ever since I’ve come off my medication I’ve noticed I’m more paranoid, anxious and very anti-social.. I get way more agitated when people stare at me for literally no reason.. I’m also back to my erratic behaviour where I’m fine one second and angry the next and then crying and then feeling drained and tired.. It’s literally a full circle. I’ve not been able to sleep for ages, I have to take sleeping pills just to knock me out otherwise I won’t sleep till 4 am ish..

I have some good parts though, I got my rabbit Harry a playpen and I’ve moved him back to my bedroom and I sometimes get in the playpen with him so I can try and bond with him.. He likes to jump over my face a lot though which is kinda funny.




I adore this rabbit, rabbits are super hard to look after because they poop like there’s no tomorrow and then there’s their health you have to keep an eye on and their diet. Though I feed him Timothy Hay, Pellets, Carrots and other vegetables and he loves them.. He gets mardy if you stop petting him though.. He’s honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m getting him a hutch soon though and turning his playpen into a run which will go in the garden.

I’ve also been skyping with my friend Michael who I met at the Star Trek convention last year and we’ve stayed in touch and he makes me laugh, knows how to pick me up and always without a doubt checks in on me and asks me how I am. I like him because of that and not many of my friends actually do that.. I wish I had more friends like that but they seem too hard to find nowadays.

If you need someone to talk to you can email me -> (You’re never alone) ❤

Love From

The Girl In The Shadows

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