The Walk Home

I can’t get over how warm it feels as I’m walking home from work. I’ve got my music on and already I feel like I’m breaking into a sweat, I’m not too sure what I’m going to do when I get home. I know my cat litter tray needs emptying and that to me is annoying because the second I empty it, it’s full again.

Pitch who is my 3-year-old cat doesn’t know how to hide her poop as my 13 week old kitten does, I’ve never owned cats before so I’m still learning and they constantly fight with one another but they also sometimes play together or play with one another.

Pitch is a more calm and a mellow cat, she doesn’t like being picked up a lot and only allows a small snuggle until she’s had enough but if she wants a fuss she’ll come to you for it and lay on your chest or on your knees. Gizmo likes to jump all over the place, she also likes to bite and jump up the curtains and swing from them which is funny but also a little over the top. I’m sure I’ve told her several times to not bite and jump all over the place yet she still does. I have to remember she’s just a baby and sometimes she stresses me out and I have to put her on the landing so I can have some peace to myself until I hear her crying meows and then I use music to drown out the cries. I wish Gizmo was like Pitch, quiet and calm but she’s not. She’s called Gizmo for a reason, she’s a gremlin and a hyper one at that but I do love her nonetheless.

Walking to my house is kinda slow as I’m writing and listening to ANML it’s over and enjoying the somewhat breeze that’s brushing against my face even though I feel so warm but I blame it on the fact that its my time of the month that has taken so long to get here so I have the joy of enduring stomach pains and cramps to my lower back. The only day I hate being a woman and the only day that I want to eat everything on site and just lay in bed and binge watch shows or sleep for hours and hours and then wake up wondering where I am. Though to be fair I am wearing a black beanie hat, my work uniform which is all black apart from the top which is black with green slits at the side and of course my super thick purple Superdry jacket which I adore too much to take off and my Superdry rucksack is making my back hurt because I only have it hooked around one arm which I’ve always thought it’s cool to have it like that rather than wrapped around both arms.

Now I’ve wrapped it around both arms and now I’m listening to Newton Faulkner Feels like home whilst walking past a school. I’m glad that I don’t go to school anymore, school for me was toxic because of the bullying which all started because I had head lice as a kid and having epilepsy didn’t help things either. I did have a few friends but I later realized that they were just pretending to be my friends. It’s kinda sad when you think you know someone when you really don’t. I don’t have many friends now because I can’t really trust people. My friends only hangout with me when I have money and you know when I don’t? I’m all on my own. I hangout with my boyfriend’s friends but they’re not really my friends. It’s nice to hangout with them because they’re really nice but I miss when someone actually wanted to come and see me because they wanted to without me asking if they want to hangout. I guess school makes you learn a lot as you get older.

I’m somewhat close to home now and I’m listening to foxes Beauty Queen, music helps me a lot, it helps me to relax and feel good. It also helps me to ignore people because when I’m out and about I get anxious and paranoid when talking to people I don’t know unless I don’t have my headphones and I’m that anxious I’ll strike up a conversation just so I don’t have a panic attack.

So now I’m walking past a house where a staffy dog used to live, he was called Buster and I remember he had a lump on his bum and his owners said that he had cancer and they were going to make him comfortable and I haven’t seen him for a very long time so I can only assume they had him cross the rainbow bridge. There’s also another dog that lives down the road from me and he’s a big beautiful boy but I hardly see him anymore as I’m not sure the owners still live there and I reckon they keep him locked in the house even on hot days. And them there’s this white staffy dog with brown patches on his/her ears, it sits on the sofa next to the window and watches people who come and go.

Coming up to my house now, and now I’m listening to Hayley Kiyoko Girls like Girls, I’m still breaking into a sweat and the breeze is somewhat nice except that I feel like I’m being cooked alive and I can’t wait to get out this damn uniform and I’m probably going to take a shower and try to cool myself down.

So I’ve just walked through the door and I found a letter that was sent to me by my friend Melissa who sent me a letter all the way from New York which has just made my day. She’s on holiday with her family and she’s just cheered me up so much!

My back is killing me now and Wentworth you don’t know me is playing, I really need to continue watching that show and I’ve finally finished season 6 of OITNB, I’m slightly disappointed with the new season but I won’t go into too much detail in case any of my readers haven’t finished it yet.

I think I may have to write back to Melissa and make her my pen pal. I’d love to write to people as I love receiving letters but there’s not many people I can write to.

I’m also seeing my boyfriend after he finishes work later on and we can’t decide on what to eat but he’s really fussy when it comes to deciding what to eat which is kinda funny because normally it’s the girl whose the fussy one at choosing what to eat. I enjoy seeing him, he makes me laugh and he always smells really good. He’s wanting to see the Ant-Man and the Wasp and Venom, he’s really nerdy and will talk for hours about Marvel films and comic books or anything that’s to do with horror films, Marvel, Comic Books. Pretty much everything. He’s trying to grow a moustache at the moment which really isn’t going so well, it sorta looks blondish and it’s kinda prickly, it looks rather funny but I’m being the supportive girlfriend that I am and telling him that it sorta looks okay but it may look better as it grows more I suppose.

I can’t help but smile at my letters from Melissa because I know I’m going to keep them for a very long time, I’m glad I met Melissa on Tumblr because of our love for Robert Beltran who played Chakotay in Star Trek: Voyager. Melissa also surprised me by getting me Garrett Wang’s signature and sending me photos of Robert Beltran as Chakotay and cat ears and of course letters! Melissa is such a great friend to me and I hope to meet her one day.

I hope everyone has a great day, I’m going to try to relax for the rest of the day and enjoy my day off tomorrow! I may write another long blog again if I decide to write on the notes on my phone again.

Love From

The Girl In The Shadows

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