Destination Star Trek Birmingham =/\=

So on 20th October I FINALLY got to meet my role model who I have looked up to since I was 11. I am beyond happy because this person managed to calm me down within minutes and I have never experienced that before. But she is so perfect and so were the other awesome people I met 😀 

I’m going to leave the best till last.

Meeting Martha Hackett (Seska, Voyager)

I met Martha back in 2016 and she was the first actress I had spoken to other than Garrett when I was at my first Trek con in 2016 and she was so lovely to me. My friend Rob was already at Trek con this year and I could only go on the Saturday so he surprised me with Martha on camera via Facebook and I pretty much screamed “HIIIIII”really loudly and I told Martha that I would see her on Saturday. I managed to talk to her at her table and explained how we met in 2016 which was because Garrett had stolen Martha’s volunteers chair for me to sit on which was really funny. 

So this time round, I got to have my photo with her and I was so excited that I decided to go for a hug and she totally went with it. I love this photo of us because it makes me happy and Martha is one of my favourite actresses and she’s so lovely and down to earth. I’m hoping to see her again next year when I go again. If you ever see this Martha, please know I love you ❤ 

mEETING Aron Eisenberg (Nog, Deep Space Nine)

My friend Rob also surprised me with Aron Eisenberg on camera too, Aron was telling me that I should be there because I couldn’t go on the 19th october as I couldn’t be there. Aron was telling me that he couldn’t wait to meet me and I also did something embarrassing but Aron’s fiancee  Malissa loved it so it makes me feel better lol. I put both of my hands in the air and shouted YAY really loudly just as my friend Rob had turned the camera around so I was facing Aron again. XD  

I adore our photo because when Aron was taking photos with people he would ask “Do you wanna growl?” and most people said no and some did growl with him and normally I would have been one of those people who would say no but you only live once so live in the moment. When it came to my photo with Aron he asked me if I wanted to growl and of course I said “HELL YEAH” so I really went for it and it was so much fun, it was by far the best moment EVER! It’s so great how something like this can just make you forget about things and that’s why I like Aron, he makes you laugh and you end up having so much fun. It was funny when he tried to hug me because he didn’t want to get orange paint on me and I thought it was adorable. I really want to do this again sometime and I mean that Aron even if it means me travelling to you 😛 Thank you for making me forget about my problems for a bit ❤ 

Meeting Jeri Ryan (Seven of Nine, Voyager)

When I met Jeri Ryan I was so nervous, I have only ever seen this woman on Tv since being a child and now I was about to have my photo taken with her and I was shaking slightly and I heard her saying hi to someone and her voice sounds very different from when she played Seven on Voyager and it felt like the floor was going to open up beneath me and swallow me up. I couldn’t believe how beautiful she was, seeing her on TV is one thing but seeing her right up close was just amazing. I didn’t really say much to her because I just didn’t know what to say as it was just so surreal and it just felt like I was dreaming but it was in fact real.

So this is our photo, I had somewhat stopped shaking and she was so lovely, I have never met anyone with such a soft and calming voice and to meet Seven was just a dream come true. I’ve had Jeri wish me a happy birthday on twitter twice and she did inspire me to try acting but I don’t have the confidence to even make an attempt. I didn’t realize until now that me and Jeri are wearing the same coloured top.. Well almost the same colour. I’m so glad that I finally got to meet Jeri. This woman doesn’t age whatsoever and I hope I will be the same when I get older. 

Meeting Nicole De Boer (Ezri Dax, Deep Space Nine)

When I met Nicole, I had just gone over to her table to talk to her and see how she was and if it would be okay to have a photo with her and I still cannot get over how beautiful she is. I loved Deep Space Nine, and I thought her character was great and she should of got more fame for playing Ezri Dax. I really enjoyed talking to her and I’m hoping next year I can get another photo with her.

Meeting Kate Mulgrew (captain Janeway, Voyager)

So I FINALLY got to meet of my favorite idols and someone who I have looked up to since being a child and she has made such a BIG impact on my life. Kate means a lot to me and to meet her was everything and more. Kate has such a calming voice and when she spoke to me it felt like talking to Janeway and it was perfect, I felt like a little ensign who had got lost, 

This is how it went and it’s partly funny that’s if you find it funny. 

So I was standing in this que waiting to have my photo with Kate and I needed the toilet and I felt like at any moment I was going to burst into tears because I was about to meet Kate, I was about to meet somebody who helped me to get through so much and I will explain about that too. So here I was, I was praying not to pee myself or to burst into tears because I couldn’t imagine which one was worse. When I was finally getting closer I could hear her voice and I could feel myself crumbling which made it worse, I was so anxious and slightly scared because what if I said the wrong thing and she didn’t like me and I was telling myself that was silly. It felt like it all happened so fast and yet so slow whilst I was approaching Kate in this never ending que.

Then I was right there and I was asked by a volunteer if I was excited and this was the moment I broke, the moment I felt like I couldn’t hold my tears in anymore. I said to this volunteer that I was only here for her, I was only here for Kate. She was the reason I came to Trek con and my friend Rob made sure that I got to meet her because he knew it meant everything to me. I told this volunteer that I was only here for Kate because she helped me to get through my first ever suicide attempt when I was 17 and all I heard was OMG. Kate had turned to look at me like she did with everyone else and asked “How are you?” but mine was different because I cried and she immediately had this Janeway voice that I had known from being so young and she asked me “what’s wrong?” and I said to her that I was only here for her because she helped me to get through my first suicide attempt when I had no one and she helped me to get cope with me being sectioned because at the time I thought I would have been better off dead.

I remember Kate saying something about being happy and healthy, and that I was strong and I hugged her because it felt like the right thing to do, to give something back to someone who probably saved my life and taught me that it’s okay to not be okay and I’m crying whilst writing this because it means so much to me. Kate has helped me to get through childhood abuse that I suffered at the hands of my mother and her boyfriend which happened on separate occasions. I think one thing that I am thankful for is being alive and achieving something I thought I would never get to do, because if I died I would never have gotten to meet Kate. I wrote Kate a letter because I knew I couldn’t tell her everything whilst I was having my photo with her but I explained that she helped me to get through so many difficult moments in my life, when I was given my photo of me and Kate I ran to my friend Rob and crumbled because I did it, I met Kate and I’m damn proud of myself. If it wasn’t for Rob I may never have met Kate and I would never of got the chance to say thank you. 

The reason behind this tattoo

There’s a reason that I have this tattoo and it’s not just because I love Star Trek: Voyager. I have this tattoo because Voyager is my life and it’s the only thing I have ever known and the second reason I have this tattoo is because of my Depression and my suicide attempt when I was 17 and the other 6 attempts that followed. 

I got this tattoo so if I ever feel depressed or suicidal I know that I can’t slash my wrists because I would ruin the tattoo and it has helped me a lot, I’m working on getting better and I’m hoping to have this tattoo finished one day because I want to have “Fear exists for one purpose to be conquered” why? Because I let fear get the best of me too many times and it’s one of my favourite Janeway quotes.

I have wanted to write this blog for such a long time, I have been really struggling to find the motivation to write because when I shut down I end up hiding and I think I really need to work on that. I also just want to thank Rashid Uzzaman for saying to me “Just write how you feel, Write what Star Trek means to you. Write how you felt at Destination Star Trek.” It really cheered me up, thank you! ❤

THANK YOU ROB! ❤

I just want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to my best friend Rob, I’m so glad that I met you two years ago thanks to Garrett Wang because if it wasn’t for Garrett I would never have met you and I would never be writing this blog right now. You mean so much to me and you’re the best friend a girl could have. Thank you for helping me to meet Kate and have my photo with her and thank you for catching me when I crumbled. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you, I love you so much! ❤

Thank you Garrett Wang (Harry Kim, Voyager)

I also want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to Garrett Wang, because you encouraged me to walk around when I first met you in 2016, you were so lovely to me and because you encouraged me to walk around, I have made so many good friends because of you and I don’t think I could of done it without you because of how many people were there. Thank you for hugging me when I met you, it really helped me when I felt like I had nothing left. Meeting you made me happy and put me on the road to recovery. Thank you, you’re like family to me and I love you, Megan and Kealy. You guys make me so happy. ❤  

Garrett Wang and me at Destination Star Trek Birmingham in 2016

Love from

The Girl In The Shadows

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2 thoughts on “Destination Star Trek Birmingham =/\=

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your travels to Destination: Star Trek. I’m really jealous because I have never met any of the cast members of Voyager and in my area, cons don’t usually occur!
    I’ll bet meeting Kate Mulgrew was something you’ll never forget as long as you live. I’m not sure what I’d do if I ever met her. She was a role model for me as well as a teen.
    It looks like you met lots of fun folks. Again I’m green with envy because 1) you are tiny and 2) you got to meet several Voyager cast members!
    Maybe one day I’ll earn enough $ to meet them in Las Vegas. I’d love to go there once!
    Anyway thanks again for sharing your blog with everyone. Keep staying strong and do remember Janeway’s motto: keep your shirt tucked in, go down with the ship, and never abandon a member of your crew. 😁🖖🏻

    Liked by 1 person

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