Rough Morning

Today has been a day that should not of happened but it did. My mom who has Epilepsy and Diabetes type 2 has not been taking her medication again, we had an argument this morning because non of the pots had been washed and the kitchen is in a horrible state. She had left coffee mixed with tea and mouldy milk in the washing tub and I’m not sure how long it has been there, the argument only started because I asked her if she was going to wash the pots and she told me she would and that she could do whatever she wants.

For those who have been following me and for those who are new, my mom has had Epilepsy for more than 30 years and only recently it’s been getting worse for my mom when it comes to her taking medication. Her excuse is that there’s too many or that she just doesn’t want to take them, the doctor’s also tested her for Dementia and she failed a few of the questions and so she was referred to a memory clinic but so far nothing has happened. The last time she didn’t take her medication she had 3 seizures and she missed her medication for a whole week and now this time she didn’t take Monday mornings medication but took evening and night time meds, took all of Tuesday’s medication and completely missed Wednesday when she took non at all and then today she didn’t take her morning medication and so she ended up having a seizure and she has cut her skin under her left eye which she claimed she was wearing her glasses but me and the paramedics couldn’t find them.

We tried to get her to understand yet again that missing her medication is serious as she takes life threatening medication for her Epilepsy, Diabetes and Depression. But my mom doesn’t do anything, she doesn’t work and she doesn’t clean or wash herself. All my mom does is sit in the kitchen and play games on her phone or she will do crosswords and that’s all she does, she refuses to work when she is more than capable of working. She only got PIP because of her not taking her medication the last time which made her go into hospital overnight and there’s people who need PIP more than her. She has claimed that she cannot walk more than 50 metres which is a lie, she is more than capable of walking to and from shops because she does this when and if she goes out. My mom has no excuse for her laziness and I’m getting rather fed up of her not taking her medication and grasping the seriousness of what she is doing. Sadly I always get blamed for her seizures and for her not taking her medication, I’m always the one who gets blamed for everything including if she’s stressed it’s always aimed at me and it’s been this way since I was a child. She’s told me plenty of times that she wishes she never had me but if it wasn’t for me she’d still be bleeding on the floor and if it wasn’t for me the ambulance would never have been called. Sometimes I cannot do anything right in her eyes.

I have cared for my mom since I was a child and no matter what I do I always get blamed for her seizures or her not taking her medication. This is a woman who used to neglect me and lock the kitchen door so I couldn’t eat, she is the woman who knew her ex boyfriend was abusing me and I’m the one who is forever picking up the pieces and I’ve had enough. I’ve done a lot for my mother who hasn’t been the mother that I needed growing up and I blame her for the way I’ve turned out, I’ve tried my hardest to work my butt off for a decent education and I have struggled with my grades which don’t allow many doors to open up for me. I wish I could disown my mother as I’m just a tenant to her and not a daughter, she treats me like the crap on her shoe because that’s all I’ll ever be. So today was just a day that didn’t need to happen because my mom is more than capable of taking her own medication and she know that she needs to take them but she will treat this incident like it’s a joke and then it’ll blow over and then she will do it again because this is what my mom does.

So, my mom has gone into hospital due to the cut under her left eye because of the seizure that she had. The paramedics were absolutely lovely, I apologised for them coming out when it was a waste of their time because of my mom not taking her medication again. I’ve decided to not go with her because she is more than capable of going on her own and said for her to call me. I do believe she might have Dementia but it’s still all unknown right now. She is 51 and she knows what she’s doing as she did this in July and laughed about it all as if it was a joke.

My mom tried to blame me for her seizure today when I was explaining to her that she could die if she doesn’t take her medication and there are worse people who are taking more medication but they know that they have to take them or they will become seriously ill. The paramedic quickly jumped to my defence when he explained that it’s not my fault that she’s not taking her medication or looking after herself. There’s only so much I can take and I’ve had enough of being blamed for everything. It’s about time that she starts listening to what me and the paramedics are her friends are telling her but I doubt she will listen to anything we have to say.

When is it enough?

Love from

The Captain

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