It’s been awhile I must admit, I have been wanting to write for awhile now as I finally have my new computer and of course this lock-down. I never expected any of this, I now hate having so much free time and not being able to go to work although sleeping in has become my favourite part but wish I could go back to work.
So, recently I’ve made a few new decisions which has affected me greatly, I have broken up with my boyfriend for the last time and as much as I love him apart of me knew it was over. Also, I have finally moved out of my mothers and many of you knew that it was a struggle of mine to live with her. I’m now living with my good friend who is like a big sister to me and her two children, I have felt much happier within myself by moving out of my mothers and learning how to look after myself. I will admit I don’t know how to cook many things as I didn’t have much life skills growing up so now I’m learning from my friend who I call my sister.
This is me and my friend, she’s like a big sister to me.
I have a job that I actually like, I’m now a housekeeper and I clean people’s houses for a living but one day I will need to go back to working a full-time job. My favourite part about being a housekeeper is all the beautiful houses that I get to see, I think it’s amazing as I get to work with my sister everyday and see these BIG houses that I know I can’t afford but can wish to have. And I have a new friend, I have a dog who’s a pug called Thanos and he is amazing, my cat Pitch is currently living with my mom as my sister doesn’t like cats so when I have my own place I will get her back. Thanos is very energetic and loves to be centre of attention but thankfully we have stair gates as he likes to pee on everything!!
This is me and my dog Thanos (He’s an idiot)
The best part of my fresh start has to be me moving out and finding myself again, being happy is something I’m now focusing on more than anything and during this lock-down I have felt more low and depressed and I’ve started to think that maybe I don’t have Borderline Personality, I think my Depression has taken over so much that I lost myself some how and now I’m trying to find myself and who I’m meant to be again which I suppose lock-down has helped me with. I have made some new friends as I created a Whats-app Lock-down group chat which has brought several people together as I didn’t want people struggling including myself and it’s kept me sane for the most part. I’m also again thinking of moving to another country and leaving everything behind except for my friends. I want a proper fresh start where no one knows me and I can leave all the bad stuff behind.
Now I want to talk about 2020 which has been a year of chaos and madness which I think no one really expected. Our PM went into hospital because of Covid-19 and I was shocked, it’s really scary to know this is happening around the world but when we should be coming together as a nation we are the opposite and that saddens me. I couldn’t believe all these people were hoarding toilet paper and fighting each other for it. When we should be looking out for each other we turn against one another because we are afraid. That saddens me, this Covid-19 has affected everyone including the NHS, Carers and Retail who are having to deal with shitty people which in my eyes is wrong. Without the NHS and it’s staff we would have a lot more deaths and tragedy.. I respect our NHS and it’s staff and everyone who is struggling during the pandemic. Know that you’re not alone. Stay Home. Save Lives. Protect the NHS.
Me and my sister have been working out to gain weight which means we have been eating loads of food which I have struggled with but I feel a lot better about myself since starting to workout again even though I gave up a few times. I want to be a better version of myself as everyone says you need to love yourself before anyone else. So here’s to that! I have also gained weight which feels great as I hate being skinny, I don’t even like the way I look and I know I’d have plastic surgery in a heart beat if I could have any. I don’t see myself like others do but I’m trying to be more positive about my body and how I look.
Stay home and Stay safe everyone ❤
The Little Eliza